NFL Picks 2009 - Week 11

The Colts-Patriots game last week reminded us of just how good the NFL can be when it wants to. And the Cleveland-Baltimore game reminded us of just how awful this year is. As we literally trudge into week 11, it's kind of amazing that there's only one or two divisions still really up for grabs, the NFC East and the AFC West. But we're winners, and we march on with our picks, which are really getting just too easy at this point.

Here's where we stand:

Dan: (100-44); Last Week (10-5)
Alex: (95-49); Last Week (8-7)
Bryan: (92-53); Last Week (6-9)

Steelers (6-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (2-7), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: I heard a KC beat writer say that teams have gone to Arrowhead this year and won without even paying attention. That's good enough for me. Score: Steelers, 24-10

Alex: Well, you have just suffered a ball-breaking loss and are pretty much fucked in the division standings. What do you do about it? That's right, you play the Chiefs. Score: Steelers, 31-7

Bryan: The Chiefs don't have much going for them. They waived their leading rusher and their best playmaker is suspended for 5 games. If Troy was playing this week, which he's not, the Steelers shutout this team. Score: Steelers, 38-10

Miami Dolphins (4-5) at Carolina Panthers (4-5), 8:20 pm., Thursday

Dan: Miami won't be able to stop Carolina's running attack, and the loss of Ronnie Brown will hurt their playcalling. Score: Carolina, 20-10

Alex: I really can't say enough about the Dolphins. I totally believe in the organization right now and they are a team on the rise. In two or three years they will be a true Super Bowl Contender and not just a "sexy" pick by SI like they were the yearDuante Culpepper signed with them. What? Ronnie Brown is out this week? Shit... Score: Carolina, 21-17

Bryan: Jake Delhomme? Prime Time? Sucks. Score: Miami, 27-21

Indianapolis Colts (9-0) at Baltimore Ravens (5-4), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: At some point, Indianapolis will lose because of their weak secondary. Unfortunately for Baltimore, their offense is vastly overrated and while Joe Flacco could handle the task his receivers just don't have the ability. Score: Indianapolis, 28-20

Alex: I would give up ten years of my life to see Peyton Manning cut block Ray Lewis during this game. I would say be on upset alert since the Colts got a bullshit win last week but did anybody see the MNF game? Pathetic. Score: Indianapolis, 24-10

Bryan: I admit, I went a little overboard with the upsets last week. We're down to crunch time. I have to use my brain and not my heart to pick these games if I want to stay in the running. Score: Indianapolis, 28-17

Washington Redskins (3-6) at Dallas Cowboys (6-3), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: Dallas at home after a bad, bad loss on the road. Hmmm.... Score: Dallas, 33-10

Alex: I should have known that the Cowboys would shit the bed last week. A win would have given them breathing room in the NFC East but I expect nothing less then a late season collapse from the Philips/Romo tandem. Washington should try to sideline every starting QB they face. It's what works best for them. Score: Dallas, 27-17

Bryan: Here comes the epic Dallas collapse we've come to know and love. Still would be a bad pick here. Score: Dallas, 21-17

Cleveland Browns (1-8) at Detroit Lions (1-8), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: People in Hell will be strapped in a chair in front of 150 HD screens playing this game for 24 straight hours. That Satan guy is one cruel fucker. Score: Detroit, 24-7

Alex: In the next ten years I want gay people to be allowed to marry, universal healthcare, stricter gun laws and for this match up to be a Super Bowl preview. Score: Detroit, 13-10

Bryan: Here's how bad the Browns are. They have 5 offensive touchdowns this year. 3 passing, 2 rushing (both by QB Derek Anderson by the way). Drew Brees himself had more on September 13th. Score: Detroit, 23-10

San Francisco 49ers (4-5) at Green Bay Packers (5-4), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: I just can't believe in the 49ers anymore. The Packers, meanwhile, might have a wild card run left in them yet. Score: Green Bay, 17-14

Alex: The Packers might be the best/worst team of all time. If these assholes would have signed a left tackle worth a damn they would be sitting pretty right. And even so, they are still in good shape at 5-4. The 49ers defense is playing well but 5 INTs only translated into 10 points last week. Aaron Rodgers won't be quite as generous with the ball as Jay Cutler was. Score: Green Bay, 23-10

Bryan: If only the Packers could keep Rodgers off his wallet, they'd be right there with the "good" teams in the NFC. Instead, they are just mixed up in mediocrity. Score: Green Bay, 26-19

Buffalo Bills (3-6) at Jacksonville Jaguars (5-4), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: I didn't think Jacksonville would win five games all year. And I didn't think the Bills would score five touchdowns all year. Both have happened before week 11, which is why I've got the headache of a lifetime right now. Score: Jacksonville, 31-13

Alex: Buffalo did itself a huge favor this week when owner Ralph Wilson walked into Dick Jauron's office and yelled "Get the fuck out of here!" Good move Bills but it won't be enough this week to beat the surging Jaguars who should switch conferences. Why? Cause they are fucking bullshit. Score: Jacksonville, 27-17

Bryan: Just another game six people care about. Score: Jacksonville, 33-16

Seattle Seahawks (3-6) at Minnesota Vikings (8-1), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: I was going to take Seattle in a typical "perfect opportunity for a weird upset" pick, but then I remembered that they can't block or tackle. Yea, those are kinda important against the Vikings. Score: Minnesota, 26-16

Alex: The NFC is such bullshit it makes me sick. Score: Minnesota, 31-17

Bryan: See you in hell Brett Favre. Score: Minnesota, 35-20

Atlanta Falcons (5-4) at New York Giants (5-4), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: Atlanta is afraid to win a big game, and the Giants have had a extra week to prepare. I think this is a game where New York puts the NFC back on notice that they are a team to be reckoned with. A word of advice for the Giants: Run, baby, run. Score: New York Giants, 31-14

Alex: With Micheal Turner likely out for this game, the Falcons and Fantasy Owners everywhere are pretty much fucked. The Giants are coming off of the bye and they have better of used the extra week to take their heads out of their asses. If they lose 5 straight, Super Bowl be damned,Coughlin will be on the hot seat. Score: New York, 28-13

Bryan: I'd take Atlanta here, but just too much working against the Falcons. Score: New York, 23-14

New Orleans Saints (9-0) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-8), 1 pm., Sunday

Dan: The only thing that can slow down New Orleans in this matchup is the weather. It's really just too bad that the game's in Florida. Score: New Orleans, 37-9

Alex: Like I said, the NFC is total bullshit. Score: New Orleans, 35-17

Bryan: There's potential for roughly two close games this week. Seriously, every game every week is almost an undisputed no contest. Kinda hard to make up ground when you get shitmatchups like this week after week. Score: New Orleans, 38-12

Arizona Cardinals (6-3) at St. Louis Rams (1-8), 4:05 pm., Sunday

Dan: This is a great game if you're like me and you have Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald on your fantasy football team. The rest of you will just have to, I dunno, sit on the porch and watch cars go by. Score: Arizona, 35-14

Alex: NFC IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!! Score: Arizona, 34-13

Bryan: LOL. What the fuck? Score: Arizona, 35-7

San Diego Chargers (6-3) at Denver Broncos (6-3), 4:15 pm., Sunday

Dan: Neither team will have anything remotely resembling a deep playoff run, so they might as well enjoy the playoff-like feel of this game. Score: San Diego, 31-10

Alex: With word now getting out that the Broncos are mediocre at best, look for the Chargers to get a big win in Denver were they lost last year on one of the worst officiating calls I have ever seen. And no, I won't let it go. Not ever because it cost me 20 bucks. Hey, we are in a recession people. Score: San Diego, 21-13

Bryan: Now we're talking. A real football game that could go either way. Denver has to be questioning themselves right now, especially with Orton questionable with a sprained ankle. San Diego is on a roll and knows how to get it done against Denver when it matters. I'll buy this ticket. Score: San Diego, 31-27

New York Jets (4-5) at New England Patriots (6-3), 4:15 pm., Sunday

Dan: The Jets go into New England, in a game everyone thinks the Patriots will win because "they're the Patriots", make a few big plays on offense, play great defense, do not find a way to lose, and stun the shell-shocked Patriots in a game that completely turns this awful NFL season upside down. Then, the Jets go 6-10. It's too fucking perfect in the context of this year to not happen. Score: New York Jets, 28-21

Alex: Rex Ryan doesn't really have too much to say this time around, the fat fucking poser. Look for Belichick to run up the score just to remind everyone of what a genius he is. Score: New England, 38-14

Bryan: I'll need to watch this game, even if it requires me to go out to do it. New England wins big in a statement game for their team and for their coach. Score: New England, 37-21

Cincinnati Bengals (7-2) at Oakland Raiders (2-7), 4:15 pm., Sunday

Dan: I'd rather have diarrhea than a ticket to this game. Cincinnati won't be able to handle their success, but I'll let them enjoy it for now. Score: Cincinnati, 17-14

Alex: Yeah,the AFC is pretty much bullshit too. Why do I even watch anymore? Fuck this league! Score: Cincinnati, 27-7

Bryan: Suddenly everyone is blowing the Raiders as the upset special for the week. The pride of Seton La Salle, Bruce Gradkowski, is not going to do what Ben Roethlisberger couldn't. Although it's doubtful he could do any worse than JaMarcus Russell. Reading some of these "experts" picking Oakland made my sides hurt. Score: Cincinnati, 30-7

Philadelphia Eagles (5-4) at Chicago Bears (4-5), 8:20 pm., Sunday

Dan: Another week, another bad coaching matchup. I think Cutler plays well in this game, I just think McNabb plays better. Shady McCoy has a day. Score: Philadelphia, 42-28

Alex: The Eagles return east and need a win to stay close to the Cowboys. I like them to bounce back here against a flat out shitty Bears team. Maybe they should trade a few picks away to get Matt Leinart . Granted he isn't as over-rated as Cutler because he isn't a good Fantasy QB but he has accomplished just as little. Score: Philadelphia, 31-21

Bryan: Chicago is going to find out first hand why they should have made a harder push for McNabb when he was available. They certainly have no reason to believe Cutler is the answer they're looking for. Score: Philadelphia, 37-24

Tennessee Titans (3-6) at Houston Texans (5-4), 8:30 pm., Monday

Dan: If the Titans hit 8 wins, then Chris Johnson should win the MVP, and I don't care that his team won't have a winning record or be in the playoffs. In this game, another Johnson named Andre will be the story. Score: Houston, 31-17

Alex: No fucking way is Vince Young winning 4 in a row. The Texans begin there run to the wild card and first round playoff elimination right here. Score: Houston, 35-28

Bryan: I can safely say I've never watched a Houston Texan's game if they weren't playing the Steelers. Seems like a perfect night to get caught up on my Flight of the Conchords episodes. Score: Tennessee, 31-23